#7 year itch in a relationship how to

“Do something your partner is interested in and you aren’t. That’s the challenge in making a marriage last: We must embrace the reality that, through time, our relationships lapse into a predictable routine that may not have the heat of a honeymoon but has something larger and more important - and that is security and friendship and commitment.” ― Iris Krasnow, author of Surrendering to Marriage and The Secret Lives of WivesĤ. Take up one of your partner’s interests. I have interviewed lots of divorced men and women who bolted when the new became old, and often these are the people who go on to have multiple, unsuccessful marriages. Our body chemicals kick in at around the two-year mark and the euphoria turns into the less sexy attachment phase of a relationship. Because that can’t-eat-can’t-sleep euphoric phase of romantic love is biologically unsustainable in humans. People in search of hot, new love and bolt every time there is an itch discover, sadly, that they are unable to sustain relationships. “Realize that hot, new love inevitably becomes not-so-hot, older love. Remember that the honeymoon phase isn’t meant to last forever. You need to get to the root of why one or both of you are not feeling and/or expressing gratitude.” ― Gary Brown, marriage and family therapistģ. Start having conversations with your spouse, no matter how difficult it may be. If you truly can’t find reasons to feel grateful, that is a strong indicator of other problems. Once you discover the answer, I recommend that you actually do something to express your gratitude ― and to do it frequently in a way that your partner knows in their heart that you sincerely appreciate them. If you find that your feelings of gratitude ― or lack thereof ― are less than ideal, now would be an excellent time to ask yourself why. “Ask each other if you feel grateful for your partner’s presence in your life. Remind yourself why you’re grateful for your partner. Is your relationship stagnant, or is your life stagnant? People can transfer their feeling of boredom or lack of enthusiasm for aspects of their life onto their partner when their partner may not be the cause at all.” ― Marie Land, psychologistĢ. If you feel your relationship is stagnant or boring, look around at your life as a whole. “If you feel the itch to leave your relationship as you near seven years, ask yourself if you are itching for a change in general. Ask yourself if your marriage is really the thing making you feel stuck or listless.

#7 year itch in a relationship how to

We reached out to experts who gave us their advice on how to reignite the spark in your marriage right now.ġ. But if you’re one of the couples who feels the so-called itch coming on, don’t fret. On the other hand, studies do show that on average, marital satisfaction and overall quality drop over the first several years people are together, as ‘real life’ - and in particular kids - enter the picture.”Ĭouples can, of course, fall into a rut at any point in a relationship ― whether it’s been six months, seven years or decades. “So couples should not dread the seventh year as a unique threat. “No one has discovered anything particularly special about the seventh year of a relationship,” Karl Pillemer, the author of 30 Lessons for Loving: Advice From the Wisest Americans on Love, Relationships, and Marriage, told HuffPost. But it’s a commonly held belief that at the seven-year mark specifically, couples tend to fall into a slump, which often leaves them feeling restless and dissatisfied with the relationship. Ups and downs are par for the course in any long-term relationship.